I will admit a big secret…Motherhood can be a lonely. It sounds crazy, right? How can a house full of people make a woman feel lonely or how can a woman feel alienated amongst people that she is related or even gave birth to? The phrase “its lonely at the top” can define a Mother’s position in her own household. Moms are CEOs and their household is their own company. Dedicated CEOs are often hard at work to make their company successful and usually put in long hours on the job. Moms are always busy working, creating, inventing, and maximizing their family to their fullest potential. But even CEOs of Fortune 500 companies can take a vacation every once in a while. Mom CEOs have to take vacation with the board members of their company–their kids. Working outside the home can provide you the element of talking and interacting with other adults. At home, you will most likely find little people who have not mastered the English language and are watching the same episode of Yo Gabba Gabba for the 108th time.
For all moms, trying to leave the house with children can feel like juggling on a unicycle. To prepare for a simple store run, moms have to carry the kids, diaper bags, snacks, drinks, toys, and really enough kiddie items to fill an entire grocery cart. Moms of multiples really have to consider if its even worth leaving the house with twins, triplets, etc., children. When asked to a playdate, a mom of multiples often has to ask if the home or facility has an enclosed fence since most multiples run in opposite directions. Want to go to the mall? Multiples usually require a double/triple/quad stroller so no carrying one child on a hip to eat at the food court. The logistics of leaving the home for any kind of outdoor venture really does require the skills of a military strategic maneuver.
With so many obstacles, its no surprise that many moms often feel devoid of any stimulating adult conversation and experience the feeling of loneliness. A way to help the feeling of non-existence is to really try to get out of the house. It is no doubt a struggle to leave the home with kids, but just like an outside job, you have to show up to reap the benefits. Many playgroups will conduct events or meetings in the local area (which helps a Mom to discover new and kiddie friendly places) and inside other Mom’s homes to help foster a sense of kinship amongst the members. Finding local resources can help moms meet and bond with other moms who are facing the same dilemma. For moms of multiples, finding a group that totally understands the special circumstances surrounded when raising multiples is invaluable. Multiples clubs and groups can offer telephone or meal support, especially during those early months after childbirth when “never leaving the house” is the norm.
Online resources that can help with finding local support are the following:
Moms Clubs & Playgroups
http://www.bigtent.com/
http://www.strollerstrides.com/
Multiples Clubs
http://www.nomotc.org/
http://www.nomotc.org/index.php?option=com_clubsearch&Itemid=43 (Finding a multiples club near your hometown)
Hospitals, religious organizations and town newspapers often have a directory of local nurseries, preschools, and playgroups. Make sure to receive your local newspaper or sign up for their online edition.
For all Moms, you are most certainly not alone…we are all on the ride of motherhood…so open the doors to the possibility of a feeling of sisterhood and unity.
Joscelyn, Owner of Mami of Multiples & Mami Innovative Media
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Tracy says
Even though my kids are older now, I remember those days clearly! I felt so alone, (and I’m introverted, usually preferring alone time, so that’s saying something!)
Great article and I agree. GET OUT OF THE HOUSE! It’s worth the effort. The internet is an awesome way to connect to others during this time – but real human contact is needed too.
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