Parenting is a full-time job, with little to no breaks, now add young children or multiples to the mix and you’re in for one bumpy ride! There usually is never a dull moment with young children or multiples because you’re always on the go. Often while we are in the midst of something important, our children will do something they know is not allowed. I can’t even count how many times I have said “Stop that!” “We don’t hit!” My favorite is “You know better than that!” Often I sit back and think, I am so tired of repeating myself! So I decided it was time for a change.
The reason for my big change was my twin girls, Liliah and Alexia, who were completely overwhelmed the first few days at school. They know the classroom rules, but they also don’t have these same rules at home. It was suggested by their guidance counselor and their teachers that I should create a consistent message for my daughters. We now follow the school rules at home. All I had to do was write our rules on a piece of paper and tape it to our wall.
For example, in the bathroom we have potty rules. My children have always had a problem forgetting to wash their hands. It drove me crazy having to remind them constantly to wash their hands because I thought, “They should know this! I’ve told them a million times.” I’ve had the potty rules in the bathroom for a little over a week and I have only had to remind the girls once about washing their hands.
We also have bedroom rules stating that beds are for sleeping, not jumping, and they must make their bed each morning. They have not jumped on the bed once since I put up the rules. They do occasionally forget to make their bed (but I am guilty of breaking that rule sometimes).
Since I started to incorporate the classroom rules at home by enforcing the written rules, I have seen a huge difference in my twins’ behavior. One major benefit is as a parent you are creating a consistent message. Both parents and children know the same rules. Your children don’t receive a different behavioral message when at school and a different set of rule at home and even different behavior rules between each parent. Your children easily remember the rules because they are the same everywhere and they are helpful displayed at home as a reminder too. It’s a great reminder for parents and children, especially for the forgetful child. Best of all, mom spends more time praising the child for good behavior, rather than scolding for bad behavior. 🙂
Another great thing about written house rules are that there are fewer fights and sibling bickering. My daughters spend their time “debating,” instead of physically hurting each other and they apologize more often for misbehaving. The twin competition that was causing the fights is now being expressed in a more healthy way. They are competing to see who can follow the rules more often, because they love being praised. If you want an extra incentive to get your children to follow the rules, you can create a reward system but nothing beats a positive message from Mom or Dad.
For more information on the benefits of Home rules you can check out the links below:
http://psychcentral.com/lib/the-5-cs-of-effective-discipline-setting-rules-for-children/00010504
http://www.supernanny.co.uk/Advice/-/Parenting-Skills/-/Discipline-and-Reward/House-Rules.aspx
Happy Parenting!
Gabie Ocasio, Motivational Mami Contributor and Northeast Family & Travel Contributing Columnist
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Great tips! WIith my preschooler, I posted on doors the same visual reminders about where the potty is, refrigerator, outside door etc. The prompts do help.